Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I'm Blue

Found this PET scan image by the Mayo Clinic very interesting (via Reddit).
Depression is a physical disability, a mood disorder. Not a personality flaw. Why can't people see that?

Here's an article by Dr. Norman Rosenthal, MD, to help detect Depression in yourself and loved ones. It addresses some of the more puzzling things about Depression, such as losing interest in doing the things that once gave you joy while being able to continue low-commitment things like surfing the 'net and gaming.

The past few days have been...bad. For me. Emotionally. Haven't opened the blinds in two days. Haven't been on the treadmill in longer than that. Slept a lot the past couple of days trying to escape intrusive negative thoughts. Nothing like hurting myself or anyone, but sad, anxiety-ridden thoughts, nevertheless. Bad news is: the sadness and anxiety is creeping into my dreams. Needless to say, that makes me feel somewhat cornered emotionally. I have an appointment with a VA psychiatrist coming up soon, thank goodness.

What set this off? Well, my mood was already sort of flagging, but then I made the mistake of reading part of the EEO Report of Investigation. That triggered lots of anxiety and tears as well as reliving being fired. I've relived that day in some respect every single day since April 2011. It's very frustrating, and it's hard to distract myself from it.

At the same time, I'm incredibly grateful for the friends and family who are lending their financial and emotional support. In that way, it's Thanksgiving in my heart every single day.

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